The dreadful afternoon spins

It seems that something has not been right with me for a little while. Or, if you've known me for  a long time you might argue that I've never been quite right, but that's another entry for another rainy day.

I know that my medication has some influence on how I feel throughout the day, both good and bad. I turn into a different person when I'm not on my meds, I'm an angry, emotional monster, and that is putting it nicely. So, though I resisted for quite a long time, I finally made the decision to take medication. It calms me, makes me relax, chill. But that makes me tired, but it is a different kind of tired. It's a listlessness, a sort of physical weakness. It's being drained all the time.

But over the last few months something else seems to be going on. I get really dizzy and nauseous in the afternoons. It feels like the entire room is spinning, like I just stepped off one of those wild rides at the state fair. And the nausea is terrible. I have not quite lost my lunch on my desk yet, but I've been damn close.

And the fatigue has been out of control, I feel like I can barely move most of the time.

I don't understand . . . I have been exercising, it's been almost a year since I started going to the gym. I've been eating well and I drink tons of water. I try to get enough sleep but I have kids, so, well you know how that goes. So what the hell is going on? I feel awful!

It has gotten progressively worse, I have even asked Mike to come pick me up from work early because I just can't focus when the room is spinning. Last Friday was the last straw . . . it was worse than ever.  I have put off going to the doctor for a long time, I mean, I thought it would pass. Also, I am used to just sort of pushing through when I'm sick. If I have a cold, a sprain, whatever I still go about as usual, I don't let stuff like this get to me normally.

I'm probably just rambling now, I guess that's part of this whole deal, I just can't think straight for more than a moment or two. I've been leaving my keys on the counter when I go out to start the car, and I've been zoning out quite a bit too. Someone will be talking to me and I try to listen but it's like my brain just shuts off and the words, the sentences don't click. I hear it, but I don't understand it.

I'm only 35, so what does this mean? Stress? That's a give-in.  I'm going in to get checked out Thursday.