Orchids and Ash

"Is this a test? It has to be, otherwise I can't go on." ~ Tool, The Patient

We have to believe that all that seems negative and destructive in our lives happens for purpose, lest we go insane.

It seems endlessly cruel and ironic that we are born with the abilities to rationalize, to reason, to question, and these things end up being our most persistent enemies. We end up using our best strengths against ourselves, as if "self destruct" were a setting on our life cycle.

We ask the wrong questions, we reason for the wrong reasons. We run in metaphoric circles, like a bird with one wing trying to fly. . . the will is there, but not the ability. We will never stop seeking answers to questions we will never stop asking. We are never calm.

There exists a great balance: Fire and ice, sky and sea, orchids and ash. Some things just are because they have to be. We are not meant to understand it all.

"If there were no reward to heal,
A loving embrace to see me through
This tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.
Gonna wait it out.
Be patient.
I must keep reminding myself of this."